17A – Elevator Pitch No. 2

Link to pitch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akspyfDT530

Feedback review: 
I thought the feedback I received on my last speech was not harsh. I would have liked to have more of a critical review of the pitch I had, but maybe it was not as bad as I thought. Both of the comments told me to continue to play an emotional factor to my pitch in order to get the attention of investors.

Changes: 
Since both of the comments told me that bringing in an emotional factor was a good Idea I made sure to keep playing on that angle. My own personal critic, I made sure to speak slower so I would have less stutters.

Comments

  1. Flavor for HireMarch 21, 2020 at 6:21 PM

    Hey, great job on the pitch! I especially appreciate how you tied in your idea with recent events that are affecting all of us. It really feels like you have genuine belief in the potential for good from your organization, you are not too rehearsed or preach-y. That being said, You had a decent balance of emotion and facts, but I need to get a greater sense of confidence and preparedness for you. The way you look down to seemingly read lines, the way you touch your face, and the way you have the awkward lighting with the fan cutting into the image does not project success.

    I also struggled with finding a professional enough space to record in, but I was at least able to find a good static backdrop with my dorm floor's common room kitchen. I just had to wait till it was late at night to record so nobody would interrupt me. Maybe you could do something like that if you're having problems with video locations?

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